NO INTEREST IN SEX

Causes

The most common factors responsible for a lack of sexual desire are:

• Stress and fatigue – today’s lifestyle is very similar for most people. People work a lot, are tired and stressed, and as a result cannot find time for pleasure and a moment of relaxation. Fatigue and prolonged stress contribute to reduced libido. In addition, partners usually spend most of their time together at the end of the day, when daily responsibilities and work are over. By then, we are usually tired, and the only thing we think about is sleep, for which there is often not much time left.
• Loss of sexual desire – this is also largely responsible for a lack of desire for sex. Every day, we become more and more accustomed to our partner, who is no longer just a sexual object for us, but someone much more important. Unfortunately, it often happens that routine simply kills sexual desire.
• Anger – perhaps we are hiding some resentment toward a partner that we need to address, because it can cause not only a deterioration in sexual relations, but in many other areas as well;
• Complexes/insecurities – one of the various reasons for a lack of desire for sex is insecurity about oneself, something many women struggle with.
• The period after childbirth – very often, women who have given birth are not able to return to their previous normal life. As a result, they may also have no desire for sex.
• Emotional detachment – over time, people become very used to each other – this is normal, but it often happens that partners stop wanting sex as often as they did in previous years. Despite loving each other very much and supporting one another, the passion or desire in their relationship fades.
• Difficulties in sexual life – it may happen that one partner is not satisfied with the other’s sexual behavior, so their desire for intercourse decreases significantly. Some people also think that something is wrong with them during intercourse, so they prefer to avoid it.
• Chronic illnesses – few people know that some illnesses, or even medications, significantly reduce the desire for intercourse. A lack of desire for sex may result from conditions such as diabetes, elevated prolactin levels, or thyroid disorders.
• Depression – a decrease or loss of libido is a common symptom of depression. If we not only do not want sex, but also notice symptoms such as discouragement, hopelessness, lack of satisfaction from activities we previously enjoyed, sleep disturbances, and dark thoughts about the future, we should not delay seeing a psychologist, as this may indicate depression.
• Sexual dysfunction – it often happens that a lack of desire for intercourse is caused by other sexual disorders, such as pain during intercourse. This may also be caused by conditions such as vaginismus or dyspareunia, which lead to a lack of desire for sex.
• Hypolibidemia – a sexual disorder involving a reduction or disappearance of sexual desire. It is identified based on three criteria: the disappearance of sexual fantasies, lack of masturbation, and lack of sexual activity with a partner (there is no desire for sexual relations motivated by genuine need and desire).

Symptoms

There is no way to measure the strength of sexual need. For one person, “enough” may mean every day; for another, it may mean sex twice a month. We can only rely on a person’s subjective feelings. To diagnose a lack of sexual desire, reduced interest in sex is taken into account in the following areas:

• Intercourse with a partner, as well as autoerotic behavior (masturbation).
• Thinking about sex – we do not have fantasies or dreams with erotic content.

We may describe our sexual activity as significantly less than expected (considering our age and circumstances), or as occurring much less frequently than in the past.

Treatment

A lack of desire for sex can be overcome. Sometimes it is enough to talk with a partner and tell them about issues that bother us, or about what we would like to change or improve, while also making our partner aware of what we expect from them. If this does not help, it may be a good solution to involve a psychologist, psychotherapist, or sexologist, who can provide the most appropriate therapy. It is worth seeking help from a specialist if we have unresolved problems.

These may include internal conflicts, depression, as well as negative experiences related to sexual initiation, relationship problems, sexual abuse, or anxiety.