UNSTABLE RELATIONSHIPS

Symptoms

Emotional instability is characterized, among other things, by a tendency for moods to change and by frequent emotional outbursts. Such a person is usually unpredictable and has difficult social contacts. Emotional instability is therefore a common problem associated with sudden fluctuations in our emotional state. For some people, it is even a defining trait, and those who suffer from this condition have constant mood swings without any clear or rational reason. Such people do not tolerate feelings of frustration. If something does not go the way they want or expect, it can trigger a kind of explosion. Their behavior begins to be controlled by very intense and outright extreme emotional and behavioral reactions. These include anger, verbal aggression, or aggression expressed through behavior or body language. This may be directed at themselves and at other people. People with emotional instability are usually individuals with low self-esteem. Their minds are flooded with thoughts described as dichotomous. They tend to have communication problems and usually do not have the capacity or resources to face difficult situations in their lives.

In addition, they are very impulsive and instinctive, rather than guided by logic and reason. They do not think about the consequences before they act. And if, as a result, they end up in a situation with even greater problems than the one that was the flashpoint for their actions, they usually have no idea how to cope with it or how to solve these new problems. On the other hand, they are often people who value romantic relationships highly and attach great importance to them. This is due to the fact that, as a rule, they strongly idealize other people. This, in turn, can lead to strongly dependent emotional states.

People with emotional instability may also change partners very frequently, because it is very difficult for them to lead a solitary life. They often say that they have a constant feeling of emptiness inside. On the other hand, their potential partners are often unable to put up with them for long, and the cycle continues. All of this causes many problems in social, professional, and family life.

Causes

Emotional instability is caused by frustration and ongoing tension, which results from excessive stress, causing people to take on more and more new tasks and responsibilities. Variability in mood or behavior, for example from joy to anger, offense, fits of rage, or aggression, causes an emotionally unstable person to be misunderstood by others, and therefore does not encourage contact with them. No one likes it when someone is nice one day and offended or grumpy the next for no reason. This way of functioning builds a wall in contact with others—the behavior of an emotionally unstable person is often seen as a lack of integrity, a lack of loyalty, or, ultimately, a lack of honesty.

An emotionally unstable person may see the causes of their condition in genetic, biological, or psychosocial factors. The family can also have a major influence on such disorders. Such a person may have been neglected by their parents as a child, and the loss of their sense of safety may have carried over into their current condition. People who have been sexually abused or who have been victims of violence may often experience emotional instability in adulthood. Emotional instability usually becomes apparent in late childhood or adolescence and can affect a person throughout life.

Constant functioning under such conditions causes an accumulation of anxiety, which, among other things, makes it impossible to experience positive feelings. Emotional instability does not allow a person to be satisfied with what is around them. A person is unable to form deeper bonds or build satisfying relationships. There is no room to pay attention to oneself, and there is no chance to be open to others. Joyful, fulfilling exploration of the world, self-development, and the realization of goals and dreams become impossible, especially in the private sphere (e.g. starting a family, the desire to have children). Maintaining this condition for a long time leads to a consolidation of a negative self-image, as well as a negative assessment of the surrounding reality and a dark view of the future. All of this causes a sense of loss, emptiness, and depression.

Unstable people often solve their problems in a destructive way by destroying their own potential (for example, through risky behavior or toxic relationships). Instability in relationships also occurs in other mental disorders, such as schizophrenia, affective disorders, substance abuse, anxiety disorders, borderline personality disorder, and emotionally unstable personality disorder.

Treatment

Treatment consists of a combination of pharmacological therapy provided by a psychiatrist and individual or group psychotherapy. The use of psychotherapy is necessary to achieve a certain harmony in life, because it teaches people to express emotions in a constructive way, which is extremely difficult for people with this condition. However, it is the person struggling with emotional instability who must recognize the need to change and work on themselves in order for treatment to be effective.